• Helpful tips on how to cope with the seven day work week
• Helpful tips on how to black out during a birthday celebration and continue to have a good time.
• Helpful tips for strippers on how NOT to drive your captive audience away
• The Red Light Clothing Exchange Naked Shopping Spree wrap up, including an interview with the winner
• …and yeah, we were in The Oregonian or something

Live at 8am and blah blah blah. PDX.FM blah blah blah.

Screw it. I’ve had 12 hours of sleep over the past five days. I shouldn’t be typing – or anywhere near a computer.

Related posts:

1. Weekend Recap: The Big Busk, Bacon Salt, Etc.
2. Today’s Show Topic: Super Portland Zombie Webisodes
3. Nifty Blog Round-Up: July 10

I don’t come from the radio world. In fact, I’m so far removed from that world that I’d bet money that I’ll never, ever have a “job” in so-called terrestrial radio – let alone a career. Sure, I started this PDX.FM thing and I’m just arrogant enough to put my hack (ahem) “radio show” right smack dab in the eight o’clock morning slot for now but it’s only a matter of time before more talented people than I need a place on our schedule and I’ll be the first to volunteer to step aside.

*** End Disclaimer ***

Whether it’s due to my involvement with PDX.FM, or just plain luck, I’ve found myself becoming friends with quite a few of Portland’s most talented radio (and ex-radio) personalities. I peruse their blogs and websites because I’m interested in their opinions on all things radio-related. After all, more often than not, they know radio far better than any corporate suit and tie ever could. They’ve lived and breathed the art and the business and experienced its ups and downs – and when one of them chooses to walk away from a job, as Kristen Bowie has, I naturally take notice.

“I left radio to pursue a business plan that involves taking the step to have creative control over my career. I’m not a seat warmer, I was sick of feeling like one. I’m an old school of radio pro. I make things happen. I don’t let it come to me…I go to it. Or I show my skills off through good old fashioned busting ass.”

I read this post a few days ago and sat here nodding in agreement through all of it. I declined to comment though, at least at the time, fearing that I’d already said enough on this subject elsewhere and that I wouldn’t bring anything of new value to an ongoing discussion. That said, as I read it again, I realized that what makes this particular point of view unique is that it’s skewed toward the positive and written by someone capable enough to pursue other forms of income while still maintaining a love for the radio medium.

One of the more disheartening things about radio and it’s wake of destruction is that many of the displaced and underemployed seem to feel like it’s their mission to save the entire format – and no one can bear that burden all by themselves. Radio will evolve, you can count on it. Ultimately, the format itself isn’t going anywhere but forward whether we like it or not, and while there is much talk about the technology behind it and how the content will be delivered, the real questions about radio have nothing to do with terrestrial vs. podcast vs. live web streams and all of that nonsense. The real questions are much more simple and much less technical.

• Will the next generation of radio actually care about the people who matter most, the listeners?
  
• Will radio finally realize that the format itself is a very intimate social art form rather than a wall of advertiser noise?
  
• Will radio grow a pair and adhere to a belief system that defends that art instead of whoring it out and ruining itself all over again?

The answer is a simple “yes”. Radio will do all of these things because big business will eventually exit the picture entirely. Count on it. When people like Kristen decide that they’re going to do their own thing, creating their own homebrew radio show, people get excited. Here’s someone taking the time to create something of artistic value for no reason other than because she wants to reach her audience.

Hardly the same die-hard capitalistic attitude that has destroyed the radio industry.

The radio of the future isn’t about technology at all, it’s about the people behind that technology. Anyone can sit in a booth and play song after song, stopping only long enough to read a few lines of self-promotional garbage – just think of that person in your social media circle that has nothing to say that isn’t self-serving. Our iPods already give us all of the music we need, sans the tiresome 20 minute advertising blocks and bouts of self-absorbed minor league pandering. It takes talent to actually put together a meaningful show that people will like and want to listen to. Modern day radio doesn’t need to fear extinction, it needs to fear the people out there that love it so much that they’ll make it succeed, even if it means dragging the format, kicking and screaming, into the 21st century.

Radio needs a lot more people like Kristen.

Related posts:

1. A Word About Corporate Portland and Joining a Young Streaming Radio Network…
2. Unfairly Raggin’ On Radio? You’ll Get No Apologies From Me
3. Radio and “Old White Guys” Rears It’s Ugly Head Again… And Nary A Woman In Sight.

Related posts:

1. Waffles and Gravy? The Review…
2. Portland “Journalists” Paid to Write About the Obvious
3. Restaurant Review: Hot Pot City

Part 1 of 2

10. Scream at the Beach – I’ve lived in Portland for a little over 4 years now and always have wanted to do the Haunted House thing. I hadn’t been to a haunted house in about 15 years and didn’t know where to start! The thought of a 30 something going through a haunted house…well, I wasn’t sure what to think. I had the opportunity to interview a couple of the masterminds behind Scream at the Beach and knew this one was the right one for me to visit. I had a great time, screamed my ass off, and was in awe of how much time and energy goes into something as big as a haunted house…especially one that took over the Circuit City building in Janzten Beach no less! Although I didn’t feel like I was 16 again, I was surrounded by them and at that moment, I was ok with it.

09. The Big Busk – One of the cooler, more ‘organic’ things I seen in a while was the coming together of The Big Busk which was held downtown in July and put together by Richard Mavis. We had so much fun walking around in the summer heat and discovering new and very different bands that traveled from street block to street block playing music they love to play. We talked to a harpist who plays all over Portland and at the Saturday Market, the guys from The Goodwill River, and many more. The Big Busk introduced us to Target for Tomorrow and I learned a new word: ska.

08. Wicked at the Keller Auditorium – “No one mourns the Wicked” – Man oh man…one of the highlights of my year. I had the privilege of being on a kick ass wardrobe crew for the 5 weeks Wicked was at the Keller in April. 8 shows a week, a total of 39 shows and it was tough but also one of the most fun times I have ever had working on a national touring Broadway production. I’ve never been involved in a production that ran like clockwork and was so organized, you have no idea. Working the show made me fall in love with this musical, and even after the 5 weeks, I didn’t tire of it. Hell, I got to dress some flying monkeys, dress ladies in really expensive and really heavy ball gowns, and met some of the most humbling and energetic performers that do what they do 8 times a week. Just because they love it.

07. MLS Rally – This will tie into the 2 of 2 part a little later, but it was this particular event that paved the way for a newfound love of mine. Back in March of 2009, I filed into a room at a hotel downtown filled with people wearing green, white and yellow. I had no idea what to expect other than the (hopeful) announcement of the Portland Timbers becoming an MLS team. What I got instead was a room filled with so much energy, so many smiling faces, young and old and the announcement of the year in many people’s minds. Along with Mayor Sam Adams and City Commissioner, Randy Leonard, the teams owner, Merritt Paulson paved the way for a new hope for our Portland Soccer team. After the rally was over, I snuck in to talk to the Mayor and to Randy Leonard. Needless to say they were a little taken aback when I told them that I was from Portland Sucks. Once I expressed my thanks and the awesome job they both had done at getting MLS to Portland, well, they opened up a bit more and let me continue talking for a few minutes. Their efforts will be worth it in the Rose City!

06. 7th Planet Picture Show – This is a relatively new event for me even though it’s been going on for a while. Over the past month or so, I’ve been going to this thing at the Mt. Tabor Theater called the 7th Planet Picture Show. In its most basic form, it’s like an MST3K style brand of watching a really terrible movie. The host Will Radik along with two other co-hosts sit and make fun of a really terrible movie all the while encouraging other to participate in throwing out zingers (or in some cases paper airplanes at the screen). It’s always free, there’s a bar and some awesome people that come too. I’ve been to a few that Robert co-hosted and then was asked to co-host with one Dr. Normal of Strange Love Live. Our Mark Hamill double feature was grueling. Drinks were spilled, light sabers were wielded, and pizza was eaten. It’s a great time and you should go if you haven’t been already.

Part 2 of 2 will follow soon………

Related posts:

1. Sabrina Miller’s “10 Fun Things I Did In 2009″ List: Part 2 of 2
2. “Wicked” Hits Portland Again – And Demonstrates Just How Stupid Some People Are.
3. Portland Sucks and The Big Busk – It Should Have Been Easy, Right?

Related posts:

1. FUCK KOIN 6 NEWS
2. Happiness, and a Lack Thereof…
3. Superbowl Sunday in Portland… Big Deal

You had your turkey and mashed potatoes…

You visited with family and friends…

You bargain hunted Black Friday and stretched your holiday dollars like never before…

You drank the water on the west side of Portland and lived to tell about it…

Now, prepare yourself for the ultimate Thanksgiving Weekend send-off – watching what critics hail as one of the ultimate wrestling/action/monster movies of all time*…

Santo & Blue Demon vs. The Monsters

7th Planet Picture Show with
Will Radik, Tara Dublin, and RobertWagner
Sunday Night (11/29) at 8pm at the Mt. Tabor Theater

*We imagine critics probably WOULD say this if they had actually seen the movie.

Related posts:

1. Tuesday’s Guest: Tara Dublin
2. Gossip is Lame.
3. pdxsucks.com podcast – august 4, 2009

It took about an hour to tally up the results but we’re finally done and when the dust settled the winner was more than clear…

The unofficial official Portland nickname for Daniel Baldwin is…

Lil’ Ballz

The results:

#1 Look-At-Me-Baldwin (25 votes)
#2 D-Ball (14 votes)
#3 Coat Tails (7 votes)
#4 D-Bag (32 votes)
#5 Alec’s Little Brother (19 votes)
#6 Lil’ Ballz (367 votes)
#7 D-Bald (42 votes)

We’ve notified the winner, they’ll receive a Portland Sucks t-shirt and a $20 iTunes gift card. Thanks to all of the listeners that voted, next time a celebrity shows up and offends the Portland Twitterverse we’ll do this as a podcast contest.

Related posts:

1. It’s The Official Daniel Baldwin Nickname Contest!
2. First Ever SMS Contest Winner – $100
3. Safari 4.0 Top Sites Contest Winner: Krystal W. of Portland

Now if we could just get him to quit calling us “P TOWN”!!

So here’s an idea, and it wasn’t even ours, let’s give Mr. Baldwin a nickname that irritates the shit out of him and see how much he likes it. Hell, let’s make it interesting and call it a contest (woo).

What do you gotta do? Email us at editor@pdxsucks.com with your Daniel Baldwin nickname and tell us why you think it’ll bug the crap out of him and we’ll hold it to a vote on our show Friday morning at 8am. If you win, we’ll send you the usual Portland Sucks Super Care Package (basically a lame Portland Sucks t-shirt and a $20 iTunes Gift Card).

What could be easier?

DISCLAIMER: The “Official” in “The Official Daniel Baldwin Nickname Contest” is official because I just made it so. This contest is not endorsed by, or related to, Daniel Baldwin in any way.

Related posts:

1. …And We Have A Winner
2. Shaq + Daniel Baldwin: The Kiss
3. pdxsucks.com podcast – november 19, 2009

What a terrible time to be living in Portland.

Our state has been running neck and neck with a handful of others to the bottom of the unemployment rate pile. Our politicians are either quietly fighting with one another or struggling to earn back the public’s trust. Our schools are consistently under fire for failing to keep up to snuff. Even our arts community has struggled, in a city where the arts are cherished more than anywhere else I’ve ever been. It’s enough to make an outsider feel as though Portland has absolutely nothing to offer – like there’s too much baggage to make the city itself a worthwhile place to visit, let alone live.

As of this month I’ve lived in Portland for 4 years. I’ve been to 46 of the 50 states and when I decided to make the move from my hometown of Seattle I realized that I could have moved virtually anywhere. I had quite a lot of money saved up and at the time I was working for myself in a web-based business – my office could have been out in the middle of Vermont for all it really mattered, I only needed the internet to do my job, but I picked Portland because I really just wanted to get away from the faux-metro-busy lifestyle of the NuSeattle (I call it “anywhere but here syndrome”). I was born in the Pacific Northwest and I suppose I’ll always love my hometown but at the same time I was living in a place that I just didn’t recognize anymore.

I have no regrets about leaving Seattle but there have been times I’ve regretted stopping in Portland – hence the name “Portland Sucks”…

Yet these past 2 months, just as the city I live in has seemed to hit rock bottom, I’ve discovered all over again just why I love this damn place so much. You can shove skyscrapers, banks, insurance companies, and annoying cell phone kiosks almost anywhere and call it a city, but you need good people to give that city a heart and a soul – and I’ve discovered that Portland has both when it counts, and it has them in abundance.

As I’ve moved from owning a web business into owning a “new media” startup (whatever that means) I’ve been met with more support, more friends, and more hope than I ever could have wished for. One minute I’m watching in horror as people I respect are losing their jobs almost daily, then I’m watching in awe as they take it in stride with dignity and class. All the while across town others are organizing events, throwing nifty little networking shindigs, giving each other support, and refusing to do much of anything but continue to push forward. Uphill. In the snow. Both ways.

In short, I’ve been watching the entire media infrastructure of a pretty good sized metropolitan city begin to crumble, all while I’m watching some of the most dynamic and creative people on the face of the planet redefine what the word “media” even means – providing more entertainment value, more trustworthy news and opinions, and more stories of interest than any bazillion dollar corporation ever did. They’re doing it by themselves for the people around them, and they’re doing it for little to no pay.

When I said above that it’s a terrible time to be living in Portland, what I really meant was…

What a fantastic time to be living in Portland.

Related posts:

1. Mission Accomplished: Portland Mentioned in the New York Times, For All The Wrong Reasons
2. Jesus Freaks Still Suck…
3. Dear Portland Radio, Please Pull Your Head Out of Your Butt

www.youtube.com/watch?v=STsJoBr5BRo

No related posts.

We sit and chat with Galaxy Sailor, the minds behind The Last Stand, “a webisode about a group of people trying to make it against all odds, oh and Zombies!”

Also, we have some nifty new giveaways to announce including some tickets to upcoming shows and a whole bunch more.

Related posts:

1. On Monday’s Nifty Little Show…
2. A Word About Corporate Portland and Joining a Young Streaming Radio Network…
3. Portland Sucks Sells Out

I’m a Facebook moron

There, I feel absolutely no better that I’ve brought that to light. I’ve used pretty much every popular social media interwebs tool out there at one point or another and I’ve been decent with nearly every one of them. I had a popular BBS when I was 8, a Geoshitties page after I got done with what I call the “sex, drugs, and rock’n roll homeless years”, a Myspace page for about 15 minutes back when they were cool, and I’m currently a part-time Twitter junkie – I’ve been there and I’ve done that.

And I still suck at Facebook

I’m not sure where the disconnect is but I can’t seem to “get” Facebook. I’ll admit that some of it is actually pretty cool – almost a “Best of Social Media” Web 2.0 sandwich if you will. Photos and videos and Twitteresque functions with a semi-competent chat feature – what could be better? For me, just about anything else. Everything I love about Twitter – the sheer simplicity of it – I hate about Facebook. Facebook is constantly making me feel stupid and lost. I’ve been fuckin’ around online for nearly as long as I’ve been alive! This shouldn’t happen.

The funny thing is, I’ve got so many other tools faking it for me that I think I have quite a few people fooled into actually believing that I know what I’m doing. My Twitter account feeds into my Facebook account so it’s constantly active. My blog does the same so there’s occasional content longer than 140 characters (though not very often) – yet I realized tonight that I’m just prolonging the inevitable.

So, in the meantime anyway, if I take a month to get back to you, don’t answer your friend request right away, leave 18 comments to one post, fail to tag my photos properly, and mistakenly take your stupid goddamn quiz – forgive me, I don’t know any better.

I’m going to have to learn this damn thing or die trying

Related posts:

1. Obama Hearts the Portland Water Bureau
2. Is My Money Just No Good Here?
3. Portland Sucks Episode T-7

1. Boy has big idea to make a local podcast/streaming radio station.
2. Creepy old man with big money and a past in the radio biz likes boys idea and offers assistance as a silent creepy old man. Boy, being naive, accepts.
3. Boy does something that irritates creepy old man.
4. Creepy old man gets creepier and takes his money away from boy.

Pretty simple. The reasons, the irritation in question, etc. are all pretty much private business matters at the moment and I’d rather not discuss them until the legal garbage is cleared up. That said, PDX.FM and Portland Sucks will continue and it will be business as usual around here so there is no need to worry. I’ve had several people inquire about making donations – thank you but that’s really not necessary.

PDX.FM is a commercial business and we tried to make it very clear that at some point in the future we would be selling advertising at very affordable rates. We’re sticking to that plan and none of the events of the past 24 hours will change anything. This is what we do, we don’t have day jobs. The beauty of it all now is that we are truly our own bosses – something I never really felt these past 3 months under the previous arrangement.

I really do appreciate the concern but we’ll be ok. It’s actually better this way. I’ve been my own boss for over a decade, it was actually kind of weird not having that freedom – I’m sure a lot of people can relate right now more than ever.

Cheers.

Related posts:

1. Save 39th Avenue
2. Radio. As If Enough Hasn’t Been Said Already.
3. My Somewhat Random Holiday Weekend Thank You’s, Part 2 of 3

• First off, I’ve had a few tweets and DM’s to let me know that the archiving of The Cort & Fatboy Show, The Rick Emerson Show, Viva la Luna, and CBS Radio Theater is well underway here: http://flpvp.com/mehfugees, register for the forum, check out the podcast archive. That’s gotta be a pretty tedious process so please be sure to thank everyone involved over there for their time and effort.
• If you haven’t pulled KUFO off of your radio tuner preset thingy yet, it’s worth giving it a listen for a few seconds today so that you can hear “the countdown loop”. Can you say “gimmicky”? I wonder if KUFO’s advertisers were warned ahead of time that the airtime they purchased would be delayed for days while station management executes a piss poor publicity stunt?
• Third… Marconi tweeted out a repost of the KUFO.com video ad and managed to get me to click and watch it, gosh thanks man – I think you owe me two minutes of my life now. It does clear up a few things though – namely that $7.45 doesn’t buy much of a video and that the Alpha suits are quite a bit more out of touch than anyone would have guessed. Find the link for yourself if you’re curious, I believe that shit should be flushed, not spread.

Finally, consider this – KUFO will be betting that you and I will forget all of this in a week. We’re not just numbers on a graph to them, we’re numbers on a graph with serious ADD. I solemnly promise to NEVER listen to another station owned by Alpha Broadcasting again. I don’t need to encourage you as a Portlander to do the same, you already know the difference between right and wrong.

Related posts:

1. A Word About Alpha Broadcasting…
2. Top 5 Portland Radio Personalities
3. Northwest Nosh Dishes On Northwest Greasy Spoons

If you want an idea of how Alpha Broadcasting sees the audience, just check out AlphaBroadcasting.com — it’s nothing but a page with links to their station and some contact information (that goes directly to the KUFO offices). It might as well say “fuck you; we don’t care; go away”. Time for the RES and C&FB and others in teh associated wheel of talented people get together for their own online network of audio and video content producers ala Revision 3 and others. Doable, with effort. These days, more glamorous than “being on radio”, too.

Related posts:

1. A Word About Corporate Portland and Joining a Young Streaming Radio Network…
2. pdxsucks.com special edition podcast – ‘portland radio sucks’ – *UPDATED*
3. I’m a Facebook moron…

Half of me is pissed off. I feel lied to by Alpha Broadcasting – their promise to make Portland radio something better than it used to be ended up being nothing but bullshit.

And now they’ve terminated the employment of the two most talented people on the airwaves in this town. Cort and Fatboy will be missed.

We at Portland Sucks and PDX.FM would like to cordially invite you to express your anger, your sadness, your fondest memories – because we know that you loved listening to Cort and Fatboy every day too. We’ve set up a voicemail line at 503.928.5174 and encourage you to tell KUFO and Alpha Broadcasting how you feel – or, if being pissy isn’t your thing, tell us how much you’ll miss Cort and Fatboy. We don’t need your names if you don’t want to give them but we do want your thoughts and opinions.

In the meantime, thank you Cort and Fatboy, from all of us here at PDX.FM / Portland Sucks – you gave us hope that radio could still be cool despite all of the bullshit.

Best of luck to you both.

503.928.5174

Related posts:

1. Time Doesn’t Heal Shit + Other Tales From The Great Pacific Northwest
2. A Word About Alpha Broadcasting…
3. Top 5 Portland Radio Personalities

Peter Fournier doing his best Biff Tannen

Peter Fournier apparently believes he’s a police officer. He’s got a badge, a patrol car, and a stun gun to prove it. Hell, he’s even got the cliché television cop-wife-in-denial. Unfortunately, he’s also got what would appear to be some kind of odd God-Cop Complex and a serious need for some head meds too because he’s gone from running a private security firm to being an all around menace to society after assaulting a KATU camera man today near Laurelhurst School. But wait, that’s not all, Fournier was already in trouble with the real cops earlier this year for zapping a kid with a stun gun – presumably for reasons known only to Pete and the various other voices in his misguided head.

Now, we’re not huge fans of KATU or anything but we totally understand that you gotta get those wicked boring “weather changing” shots to supplement an otherwise dull news day. It’s not uncommon at all to see cameramen from all of the local stations roaming around shooting video of what would appear to be nothing – all a part of the fun process of making video seem interesting in the age of the super short attention span. Well, we might understand but Pete Fournier doesn’t. Pete sees kids that aren’t even there and doesn’t want those pesky cameramen around filming them (WTF?) so he does what any pretend cop would do, he flashes his fancy $1.99 toy security badge and proceeds to go all vigilante and kick some serious cameraman ass – a dangerous job considering just how rowdy those cameramen are these days.

It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt and then the cops come and nab Pete once again and haul him back to the pokey for the second time this year. I imagine it must be exciting for Pete to ride in a real patrol car and smell the stale vomit of real criminals in the backseat, listen to a real police radio broadcasting real police crime, get his picture taken for a real mugshot, feel the cold resistance of real handcuffs. Pete probably hasn’t felt this powerful since he put on his security uniform last February and showed that kid in Laurelhurst Park what a few thousand volts feels like. That’s power. That’s Pete.

The police showed up then too and all Pete had to say for himself at the time was “I had exceeded my authority by approaching the suspects in a public park, which they indicated was not in my jurisdiction.” – no shit moron, you’re not a cop and therefore you don’t HAVE a jurisdiction.

Now, you have to wonder… How long before Pete runs into a real threat to his neighborhood, like an ice cream man or a postal worker or a Comcast repairman, and really needs to lay down the law? How long before Pete hauls off and shoots someone, Dirty Harry style?

Wouldn’t it just be easier to lock Pete up in a nice cozy well-padded cell now rather than find out?

Related posts:

1. Peter DeFazio and the Suspicious Case of the Word “Bullshit”
2. Dear KATU News, Feel Free to Join Us in the World of HDTV
3. Portland Gay Mayor-Elect Sam Adams Snow Storm 2008 Blooper Reel

So here it is, in all of its dysfunctional and illiterate glory, Jack Peek’s latest and greatest, as sent to a few dozen people that probably read it and giggled at the absurdity of it all – just like I did.

Enjoy!

Here’s my response, Jack…

Blow me.

Related posts:

1. pdxsucks.com podcast (part 1 of 2) – february 19, 2010
2. Sabrina’s Favorite Blogs
3. Nifty Blog Round-Up: July 10

Here’s Harold in a candid shot from the set of Anchorman 2. Follow Harold on the Twitter: @haroldpdx

Related posts:

1. Separated At Birth: Portland Actor Harold Phillips and Steve Carell
2. Real News Hits Portland and a Candid Interview with Beau Breedlove Gets Kicked to the Bottom of the Pile
3. pdxsucks.com podcast – november 18, 2009

Writing a blog is quite a bit different than doing a live streaming radio show or podcast, particularly if you’re like me and can’t bear the thought of editing audio because it’s incredibly boring. I like doing things live and I like having to live with what I’ve said. The written word however is totally different. For example, you readers have no idea how many times I altered the first sentence of this post so as to sound oh so imaginative and thought provoking. That said, many writers challenge their audience, I’m fully aware that I’m not one of those writers, nor do I ever want to be.

What I do want to be is someone that exercises his right to an opinion. Most all of us have one and most all of us have heard the rather lame and dated comparison of the opinion and the asshole. Yet, without fail, someone attempts to point out to me every other day that I’m “media” and therefore I need to conduct myself with something called “responsibility” under the veiled threat of what is known as a “lawsuit” – and, also without fail, I’m usually pretty confused as to why that would be.

Who are these great blogger and podcaster lawmakers? Who has decided that I cannot state that “person X is an idiot” or “your band sucks” or a particular beer tastes like mule piss? It is, after all, my belief and my opinion is it not? I’m not claiming to be the news or media or anything remotely related. I think of the Portland Sucks show as entertainment most of the time, not journalism. Why in God’s name would anyone visit a website called “Portland Sucks” and expect journalism? Journalism fucking bores me, I’ve never once even considered it as a profession. I’m terrible at it and I have less than zero interest in it. And yet the emails about my so-called irresponsible brand of journalism persist.

So, rather than email each individual one by one and waste valuable minutes of life that would be better spent in a rant about something else entirely, here’s my reply…

Fuck you.

Go read something else if you don’t like it OR engage me in a conversation about WHY you think I’m wrong. For everyone that’s ever said that I’m “irresponsible” for one reason or another, no one has ever come back with an opinion or argument. You think that what I do is chicken shit? Eat me. Insinuating that I’m breaking the invisible laws and code of honor of the almighty blogger is chicken shit.

Discussion is a two way street and I’m simply starting a dialogue. You can always feel free to debate me, I’m completely open to that. What I’m not open to is the continued notion that I should be held to a non-existent standard because it suits you and your blogger standards. I’d be happy to respect your opinion but seriously, fuck your blogger standards.

And to one particularly annoying twat: Yes, the Internet is the great equalizer but it doesn’t change the fact that you were a butt ugly fucktard back in high school and all of your “friends” secretly talk a lot of shit about you behind your back. It’s true, believe it.

Related posts:

1. I Don’t Work Wednesdays, Live Blogging, Upcoming Guests, and Other Assorted Fancy Ketchup…
2. Oregonian’s Anti-Adams Poster Child Ain’t Even From Portland
3. DENIED! Freaky Child Molesting Teacher Kimberly Horenstein Told “Ummm, No. Bitch.”

I’m in New York City this week. I appreciate all of the people that sent me emails and DM’s wishing me a good vacation – the problem is, I’m not on vacation (and believe me, if I was I probably wouldn’t have picked NYC to kill some leisure time). No, I’m in New York City working at Advertising Week, specifically, I’m working on the official streaming radio station of Advertising Week.

The whole thing is sponsored by Clear Channel and their nifty iheartradio thing so technically I’m working with them, even though in my own mind they’re “the enemy” – big dumb money, big dumb decisions, big dumb everything – basically a lot of nice people that are nothing more than cogs in a machine, and everyone knows if you put enough nice cogs together you get one terribly inefficient machine.

Is it fun? I guess it’s ok. It’s not like hangin’ out at Sassy’s but it pays the bills. Moreover, I’ve received enough of an education in what NOT to do with my life today alone that the experience is valuable to say the least. If I were to apply the PDX.FM model to what they’re doing at Clear Channel/iheartradio I’m willing to bet they’d be saving millions every quarter though and that’s where things get a little… conflicted. If this is big business, then it’s no wonder “old media” is screwed. Insert tirade of bitter radio disappointment here.

Anyway, that’s the story – I’m heading back on Saturday. Until then I’m going to do my best to continue with Portland Sucks whenever I can, maybe by phone if time allows, or just do odd little one-off podcasts like I did in place of the show this morning.

Thanks for stickin’ around and remember, you live in the best fucking city in the world.

PS: I forgot to answer the “why?” in the post title above. The answer is “money”, because I’m a bit of a whore like that, and you would be too.

Related posts:

1. Coming Up This Week on Portland Sucks – Week Ending August 14th, 2009
2. Selling Out
3. Is My Money Just No Good Here?

Download audio file (pdxsucks-pdxfm.mp3)

Download audio

Special thanks to Doc Normal and Cami Kaos of Strange Love Live for hanging out and live tweeting from our place during the show.

Related posts:

1. pdxsucks.com podcast – october 12, 2009
2. pdxsucks.com podcast – november 10, 2009
3. The Secrets of PDXSucks Live Broadcast Show Prep… REVEALED!

• Cort and Fatboy – KUFO’s top talent without all of the annoyances of listening to the radio. A lot of podcasts rely on guests because the hosts themselves have suck ass personalities – these guys are the opposite, most of the time they can make their worst guests pull off their best shows.
• Uncle Weed – It’s not just a podcast, it’s a fucking experience. No words that I could come up with will do this thing justice, it just defies description. Listen for yourself, it’s unlike just about everything else out there and makes me jealous every single time I hear it – in a good way.
• Geek in the City – Nerd Kings Extraordinaire. Bow down and shut up, chances are they know way more about most things than you do and you’ll bust a nut listening to them talk about it.
• Sixty Seven Music Celtic Broadcast – ok, I’m cheating a little bit here because I engineer this one each week but I’d listen to it even if I didn’t. Host SkOt Cranmore is one of those people that I actually look forward to seeing every week because he has all of the enthusiasm of any 30 podcast hosts when he walks through the door. Oh yeah, and I forgot to mention, I never gave a crap about Celtic music before this show came to be and now I’m pretty much hooked – so much so that I’m also addicted to The Scallywag Show now too but they’re few and far between
• Strange Love Live – OK I confess. I’ve only watched Strange Love Live a few times but I’ve listened to it every week for a long time now and my Fridays aren’t complete without it. It’s like the Merv Griffin Show only 20x more interesting and about 500x better looking – and nary a Gabor sister in sight (always a huge plus).

Nepotism Alert! The following are shows that I’m involved with in some way but I’d listen to them even if I weren’t. Honest, I really would. Don’t believe me? I’m directly involved with another dozen or more beyond these that I wouldn’t make my worst enemy listen to…

• The Nerd Report and iPhoneSlutz – These days I’m favoring The Nerd Report because they managed to make Dr. Pepper come out my nose. Nonetheless, both are good for a laugh or two (or thirty).
• The Meat Show – Completely random fucking radio. I’d say “it’s a breath of fresh air” but that’s a really, really lame way to describe something.
• NuPoppa, HipDaddie, Dadcentric, The Dad Show, Doug Zanger and Friends – Whatever they decide to call it next week, it’s funny and I’m not even a dad… Plus it has Ted from The Buzz’s Daria and Mitch Show (which I confess, I’ve never listened to). Ted is funny in a quiet and wicked sort of way. I heart Ted.
• Hike Yeah – “Hey Folks, This is Alex…” – I went into REI today for the first time in 10 years because of Alex. No shit.

There are quite a few more out there that I listen to when they’re available but aren’t put out with nearly as much regularity – The 107 Report for instance, I love it so it’s a bonus when there’s a new episode but, there aren’t many new episodes. There’s probably another half dozen that I listen to even though I’m not particularly fond of them (just about anything tech related or anything with 5 douchebags talking over a Skype conference connection – i.e., just about anything tech related).

So there you have it, my unadulterated love for my peers in one handy, easy-to-read post.

Check out every last damn one of them.

Related posts:

1. Hey Folks, There Goes Alex…
2. My Somewhat Random Holiday Weekend Thank You’s, Part 1 of 3
3. The “What? Where? and Why?” of My Week…

That said, let’s get a few things straight…

I am not unhappy with Doug Zanger, Sabrina Miller, Emily Gibson, or any of the other hosts or guests that walk through the doors here each and every day (with the possibly exception of Todd Mansfield, whose rants about college football make my rants seem wimpy and girlish).

I am not unhappy with my job or my career or whatever you want to call it.

I am not unhappy with the pay I receive for doing the show (almost) every day, in fact I’m damn grateful that I make money doing this at all when I consider the economy and all of the talented people out there that are going to waste because big media sucks ass and doesn’t know how good they had it.

I am not unhappy that this business of ours is finally making money and our many months of hard work is paying off.

I am not unhappy that there are a few people out there that apparently are very unhappy about the things that I listed above. I’m not unhappy that those unhappy people have nothing better to do than spread lies and bullshit and gossip and rumors. And I’m not unhappy that I know for certain that one of those unhappy people is stuck in a dead end relationship with an unfaithful whore that I hear gives pretty damn good head. Not that I’d know of course, it’s just a rumor I heard…

Related posts:

1. Cranky As Fuck & Trying Not To Be
2. A Distinct Lack of Posts Lately…
3. Selling Out

Warmest Regards,

RobertWagner

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1. 7th Planet Picture Show: Because Thanksgiving Weekend Shouldn’t End With a Bunch of Lame NFL Games…
2. …And Now The Truth Comes Out
3. Happiness, and a Lack Thereof…

First, The Media Buyer…

It would seem that the average media buyer around the greater Portland metro area is about as hip to this newfangled Interwebnet thing as Raj Thomas from What’s Happening. I’ve never felt quite so cutting edge as I’ve felt these past few weeks when all of these buzzword-happy ROI-touting dickwads don’t seem to know what a podcast is to begin with, let alone how much it should cost me to buy myself a billboard, radio time, etc. I’ve even gone out of my way to try to find media buyers with fancy websites, proclaiming themselves to be “digital experts” and so on. No dice. I’ve not found a single Portland media buyer that was born after 1960, let alone one that knows how to connect with me on Twitter or Facebook. If you don’t “know digital” then simply say that you don’t “know digital”. It’s a waste of my time when you know the fancy buzzwords but are clueless as to their meaning. And I was really hoping to get that billboard on Highway 99 eventually too…

Maybe I could just buy direct…?

Undaunted (mostly), I pressed on. I started calling radio stations because I figured, hell, they need the money for one, and wouldn’t it be a bit of a gas to advertise streaming radio on a terrestrial radio station? Maybe I’m the only one that sees the humor in it but who cares, it’s my money. Well, it turns out that you really can’t just call a radio station to buy advertising. Nope. You have to call the sales dick in charge of the region and talk to him. Cool. I tried that too. The problem though is that they don’t return phone calls. Not here, not in Seattle, not at Entercom, not at CBS. I’ve been leaving voicemails but my phone ain’t ringing. And I’m not even explaining to them what I want to advertise so it can’t be that. Shit. No wonder radio is in the crapper.

How about other podcasts?

Last stop, my fellow podcasters. I started in on this two weeks ago, figuring I’d end my three month “experiment in advertising” resorting to ad placement through my peers. Here again, for every fucking email door I knock on there’s no one home. The few responses I manage to get either wanted way too much money for a :30 second spot (on a podcast with a mere 400 listeners a week) or they told me to go fuck myself because they didn’t want to advertise my podcast on their podcast. I even offered a trade. Again, no luck.

Fuck it.

So that takes care of that. My money is either no good or the entire recession is a big fat lie. I figure I could probably buy something in print media but why bother, no one really reads anymore anyway. The rest is just completely bizarre. Either no one knows what the hell I’m trying to advertise or they apparently just don’t need the money quite as much as the news media says they do. Now, I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that someone is going to read this and say “hey moron, media buying is much more complicated that your pea sized brain can understand”. Cool, I get that. My reply to that though would be “really? and I suppose you’re going to tell me that only a fucktard that can’t understand how to use twitter can grasp these high math super media buying concepts?”.

I’m going to trust someone to get me “ROI” in the “digital space” using “a mix of traditional and social media” when they can’t even fucking use Twitter?

Don’t make me laugh.

Related posts:

1. The “What? Where? and Why?” of My Week…
2. A Little Bit About Funding…
3. Radio and “Old White Guys” Rears It’s Ugly Head Again… And Nary A Woman In Sight.

Sound familiar?

Listen to the whole thing over at The Advertising Life site.

UPDATE: A few emails have come in suggesting that perhaps maybe Mr. Martin had been coaxed into his comment about “old white guys” before the program aired. Nope. Sorry. That’s all him.

Related posts:

1. Dear Portland Radio, Please Pull Your Head Out of Your Butt
2. Unfairly Raggin’ On Radio? You’ll Get No Apologies From Me
3. pdxsucks.com special edition podcast – ‘portland radio sucks’ – *UPDATED*

Download audio file (pdxsucks-episode105.mp3)

Download audio

Related posts:

1. Tuesday’s Guest: Tara Dublin
2. pdxsucks.com podcast – june 10, 2009
3. pdxsucks.com podcast – july 24, 2009

In related news, how about that Entercom huh? Measuring their success by how much less they’re failing than last quarter. Yeah, let’s give the CEO’s some big fucking bonuses and fire some more DJ’s.

UPDATE: This is what is known as an announcement. There is already a thread on OMC (see link above) where you can leave the same tired comments over and over again.

Related posts:

1. Guest Post: NHL in Portland?
2. oops
3. If I Had A Podcast…

Related posts:

1. 1st Annual Separated At Birth Round-Up
2. Separated At Birth: Fox 12′s Julie Grauert and Cha-Ka From Land of the Lost
3. Separated At Birth: KXL Radio’s Brian Bushlach and Charles Oliver, a Cabbage Patch Kid

Twitter and Facebook apps aside, my favorites are basically glorified RSS readers. I like to stay informed, particularly with local news, so I was ecstatic to find KPTV Fox 12′s app a couple of months ago and I’ve been using it an average of 4 or 5 times a day ever since. The damn thing was almost perfect – good looking and informative, not unlike KPTV’s own Shauna Parsons – what more could I ask for? Well, imitation IS the sincerest form of flattery so along came apps from both KATU and KOIN. Ugh. Do I need them all? Which is best? Let’s find out…

KPTV Fox 12

The one that started it all, at least around Portland anyway, the KPTV app has been my steady companion since early May. Produced by “My Local TV”, the KPTV has it all – with an emphasis on local news. It takes a little more time to load than the rest but once it’s up, it’s awesome. Simple buttons line the bottom of the screen that take you directly to Weather, Local News, and Videos (and darn good ones at that). A “More” button brings up National News, Traffic (cameras mostly), and Sports. Everything works just like you’d expect it to and access to the main categories is always available. Video works flawlessly with a halfway decent 3G signal or on WiFi. News stories are complete, usually include a photo for visual interest, and the Weather has replaced my other dedicated weather apps. Overall a very, very nice app.
Rating: A

KOIN 6

Produced by doapp, inc., the KOIN 6 app ain’t half bad. A little slower to load and a little slower to respond here and there but geared for the complete news enthusiast to say the least. It’s biggest flaw? Navigation. Where KPTV’s app offers one button access to nearly everything, KOIN and doapp provide the world’s worst news app navigation interface. Those nifty buttons at the bottom of KPTV’s screen are replaced by a double decker slider at the top of the screen. Not only is it slow to respond and hard to control, it forces you to block what you’re reading when you’re just about done with it and want to move on. The quality of the news and video is definitely good, it’s how you’re forced to get there that sucks. After several hours with the app I’m still struggling with coaxing it into doing what I want it to do – and let’s face it, if you’re using this sucker one-handed on the streetcar you need it to be easy.
Rating: B-

KATU

If you install and use these in the order they’re listed, the first thing you’ll notice is that KATU’s app is IDENTICAL to KOIN’s. Both have the same crappy navigation interface, both harass you about using your current location every time you load them, and both seem like they would be chockfull of news goodness. Or are they? As it turns out, everything that KOIN managed to do right, KATU does horribly, horribly wrong. Similarities and navigation failures aside, it’s painfully obvious that KATU views the modern mobile newsgeek with disinterest and disdain because nearly every news story on the KATU iPhone app consists of a single teaser paragraph and nothing more. That’s right, want to know about that guy that was assaulted out in Hillsboro? Here’s his picture, here’s two sentences stating that he was indeed assaulted, and that’s it. No click through for more information, no scroll to see more, nothing. Maybe it’s a simple glitch on this story, let’s check another… Nope, same thing. Let’s click this one, it’s titled “Former high school teacher struggles to clear his name”. What do we get? A “story” that ends with “…One former Stayton High School history teacher knows the answer. KATU’s Melica Johnson reports.” …  Uhhh, reports what? What was the report? Anyone? Melica? Hello?

FUCK!!! Really?

It wasn’t bad enough that it took way too much effort to even get to where I wanted to go in the app itself, now you’re going to tease me with a story and give me no means to read the rest? FUCK!!! Seriously? KATU was my second favorite local TV news station – this app has placed them firmly dead last in my book. Who puts something like this out? Did no one even try the damn thing? Do the folks at KATU figure that iPhone/mobile communications are a fad and by throwing a few bucks at a crappy app like this they’re satisfying that market? I can see the board meeting now… “Oh yes, we’ve definitely got our finger on the pulse of the digital and mobile revolution, here’s our iPhone app – please ignore the fact that it’s completely fucking inept, ok?”

Let me be clear. KATU iPhone app = EPIC FUCKING FAILURE
Rating: F

I’ll be honest, I didn’t expect much from any of these apps when I first got them. I’ve become hooked on USA Today for national news and I’m convinced that it should come packed in with every iPhone sold, but that’s USA Today, not a local news station. I was blown away by how much I used KPTV’s app and the bar was instantly raised. It’s not without it’s minor flaws but I really do use it quite a few times every day. KOIN has potential and frankly the things I don’t like about their app have much more to do with the developers mistakes than the content itself. KATU though, they have no excuse. Do they actually think that I’ll see these stupid little abbreviated news blurbs and then rush to my nearest TV and tune in for a news broadcast? I won’t. No one will. And if KATU can’t be bothered to make a functional iPhone app then I’ll go out on a limb here and suggest that they can’t be bothered to give two shits about their viewing audience either.

For the record, all three apps are ad supported and in what I feel is a very unobtrusive way. Kudos to both developers for that.

Related posts:

1. Portland Gay Mayor-Elect Sam Adams Snow Storm 2008 Blooper Reel
2. FUCK KOIN 6 NEWS
3. Dear KATU News, Feel Free to Join Us in the World of HDTV

Let’s be clear about one thing though. The last remaining thing that I DO love about radio are the people on the air. I’m a fan of quite a few local radio personalities and I really do wish them the best. My beef with radio has absolutely NOTHING to do with the DJ’s or the talk show hosts or the people behind the scenes on a technical level. It is entirely possible for me to have a grievance with the corporations behind modern radio and still enjoy the talents of those that are actually on the front lines making it work as best they can. It’s like loving Chicken McNuggets but loathing the McDonald’s Corporation.

I shoot the breeze with a few people employed by the companies in question. Should I be worried that my statements will reflect badly on them? I don’t see why. All four of the companies that I mentioned have their heads so far up their respective asses that there’s simply no way that they’ll ever hear what I had to say anyway. Why would THEY care? They seem to think (incorrectly) that they have all the answers – what difference would my opinion make?

Calm the hell down. You’re all acting like big radio companies actually have the power to take action against this sort of thing and I can assure you that they don’t. The last station that I paid a visit to apparently couldn’t even afford to keep toilet paper in the bathroom stalls, I can’t imagine that they can afford these fancy new PC’s or other gadgets that can enable them to listen to internet streams. Besides, they’re so damn ignorant and arrogant as it is, why would they give a crap about what I have to say?

Related posts:

1. Radio and “Old White Guys” Rears It’s Ugly Head Again… And Nary A Woman In Sight.
2. Top 5 Portland Radio Personalities
3. Radio. As If Enough Hasn’t Been Said Already.

I started watching Leverage late last year when the first season began, having read an article about how it was created. I didn’t mind it at first but after about 6 or 7 episodes it already felt tired to me. In lieu of anything else to watch I finished the 1st season anyway. Fast forward to last Wednesday night and the debut of “Leverage Portland”, the second season us locals have heard way too much about. So many new questions needed answering:

• Would Leverage highlight Portland at all with the first episode taking place in fake Boston?
• Would local Portland actors enhance what I feel is a very, very average TV show?
• Would Timothy Hutton’s ever-sagging face fall completely off?

So I watched the premiere…

The good news? Portland is DAMN scenic and does a wonderful job of playing Boston. In fact, with only one exception (we’ll get to that), Portland is easily the highlight of the show. Whether it’s the grit of Burnside serving as a backdrop for the world’s worst CGI enhanced car flipping scene or the various waterfront locations in ultra-high-contrast-for-maximum-grit, Portland looks great. So far, so good.

The other good news… Portland’s own Robert Blanche steals the show in the whole one minute and twelve seconds of screen time he’s given. Funny that TNT touts Leverage as “Starring Academy Award Winning Actor Timothy Hutton”, Blanche acts circles around him – in fact, his is the only convincing character in the whole damn episode.

The bad news? Almost everything else. Leverage was never great but season two feels more like a watered-down milquetoasty modern version of the A*Team than anything else. That ultra-high-contrast crap on the waterfront is designed to make you think you’re watching something edgy – rest assured, you’re not. Leverage is so lame and tame that it’s almost a fucking family show. If the first season had some promise but just not enough chemistry, well, the second season has lost it all entirely and the show that remains is strictly a by-the-numbers piece of dog shit. Competent co-stars are wasted, none of it is remotely plausible (though it wants you to think it is), and everything about it is entirely half-ass.

More bad news? A local teen actress (we’ll leave her name out of it here) plays a fairly prominent role in this particular episode and proves that not all kid actors are created equal. Ugh. If you saw the premiere and managed to make it through the hospital scenes without gagging then you’ll know what I mean. I laughed during scenes that were supposed to be deep and meaningful as I was reminded of bad weekly dramas from the 70′s (Emergency! anyone?) and the talentless hack kid actors they used to scrounge up to star in them.

Bottom line? I had hope. I made it through the first season, barely, but I was secretly hoping that filming piece of dung in Portland would be the thing that made it a little bit more tolerable. As it sits now Leverage is easily one of the cheesiest shows on television. Maybe that’s the intent, I don’t know, but it never rises above crap and never sinks to the level of “so bad it’s good”. TV shows stuck in between just plain suck.

Related posts:

1. Portland Sucks Episode T-4
2. pdxsucks.com podcast – august 28, 2009
3. New PDX Sucks Show Every Friday at 9pm…

Without further ado, here’s what our listeners picked as the Top 5 Radio Personalities in Portland – Working or Not, Dead or Alive, AM or FM, Modern or Classic, etc:

5. Tara Dublin – Gone but hardly forgotten eh? Tara ALMOST made fourth place, proving that management at a particular station in Portland really ain’t the brightest.

4. Rick Emerson – KUFO. One of the best things to ever come out of Kennewick, Washington? Probably. Can you name anyone or anything else good that ever came from Kennewick, Washington? I didn’t think so.

3. Gustav – KNRK. Gustav. One name. Like Cher. Or Bono.

2. Cort and Fatboy – KUFO. I think it goes without saying that these guys have the best live radio to podcast show in town, at least in my opinion anyway… Hopefully that still means something. It never did? Oh. Well, listen to them anyway.

1. John Strong – 95.5 The Game. It was very close but John Strong pulled away with the win by less than a dozen votes – insert Timbers Army chant here.

As always, thanks to everyone that participated. We randomly select one entry to win a $20.00 iTunes gift card just for voting. This weeks winner is Andrew L. – Andrew, you should have an email on the way to let you know how to claim your prize.

Related posts:

1. pdxsucks.com special edition podcast – ‘portland radio sucks’ – *UPDATED*
2. Tuesday’s Guest: Tara Dublin
3. Dear Portland Radio, Please Pull Your Head Out of Your Butt

Apparently I tweeted a little too much about bacon and pigs. Here’s mine for @pdxsucks (click image to make big)…

pdxsucks twitterness via portwiture

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1. Countdown to 2009 Portland Baconfest
2. People Are Fucking Retarded
3. The Kuwaiti Starbucks Coffee Oasis

The search for naked pictures of either Julie Grauert or Stephanie Kralevich

That’s right, on any given day I can count on AT LEAST 44 visitors from Google looking for those tantalizing uninhibited photos from Stephanie’s college years that probably don’t even exist – on the flipside, 11 visitors EVERY DAY are trying to find a less than fully clothed Julie Grauert JPEG … Guess what?

I DON’T HAVE ANY!!

But here you are, every day, in my traffic logs with your searches for “Stephanie Kralevich naked” and “Julie Grauert Nude” and it’s not just one or two sick little monkeys either – I’ve checked – no, there are hundreds of you out there!

55 PERVS ON AVERAGE PER DAY

Do I need see the attraction? Sure, why not. I get it. But I guess I’m just not sure who is sitting around thinking to themselves “Clouds mixed with rain? I wonder if the drapes match the carpet?” – WHO DOES THAT?

So, for the record, I have no nude shots of either one and even if I did, I wouldn’t post them anyway so you’re going to have to go back to using your imagination.

In the meantime, I’m going to go back to my as-yet-unsuccessful search for “Shauna Parsons Bikini”…..  Only 35,299 results left to check….

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1. This Weeks Top 5 Searches That’ll Take Your Sorry Butt To PDXSucks.com
2. 1st Annual Separated At Birth Round-Up
3. Top 5 Portland Radio Personalities

I really would have been interested in reading the article, unfortunately it was nowhere to be found. Thankfully, the Classmates.com pop-under ad DID work properly so I was able to at least see who in my graduating class has been trying to get in touch with me. Yippee fucking hooray.

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2. OregonLive.com can’t spell the Governor’s name correctly.
3. OregonLive.com: Weather & Fashion, All in One Nugget

1. What blogs do you guys read? I’ll address this below.

2. How come Sabrina doesn’t blog on pdxsucks.com? Because she’s usually too damn busy. We’re changing that though, more guest bloggers are comin’ and Sabrina will be one of them, guaranteed.

So to the first question, what do we read? Chances are, if I go to a blog on a regular basis at all, it’s listed in the “Links That Don’t Suck” section of the sidebar down there – scroll down, look right. This isn’t always the most up to date thing in the world and it’s definitely not the end-all list, but it’s a good start. That said, I occasionally like to point out blog-writing excellence on a post by post basis too – hence the “Nifty Blog Round-Up” – let’s start today shall we?

Here’s some stuff from this past week I thought was pretty much the cat’s meow:

1. “Legalize It!” – Tara’s Rants and Raves
2. “the gillette fusion power is for dads – not moms” – NuPoppa
3. “Portland Local Media Roundup: Nicey Wicey!” – I’m in your water. (extra credit for uncovering the shocking truth about me and Matt Davis, I’m the one on the right in the pic).

I’m sure there’s more that I forgot but it was a long, long week…

Related posts:

1. A Woefully Neglected Blog…
2. Whoops
3. Poking Fun At The Illiterate Right

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1. Portland “Journalists” Paid to Write About the Obvious

The “problem” seems really bad here in Portland. Some of our favorite radio personalities have been cut loose, literally overnight, and left to fend for themselves in an increasingly dire and desperate industry. Painful as that might be for listeners, I can’t imagine what it’s like for these folks themselves. Waking up with the realization that all of your skills and talents are more or less obsolete must cause quite a stomach ache.

What’s worse? The very same egocentric behavior that had almost the entire radio industry ignoring the obvious change in the air seems to have permeated its personalities too. In the past two months I’ve been in contact with three different ex-radio personalities – big names around these parts – and have offered to work with them to demonstrate the power and potential of internet broadcasting. After all, while traditional radio’s numbers are quickly heading toward zero, the opposite is true of podcasts and streaming programming. Case in point, I left my day job of several years to make my blog and podcast/radio show work and I make a good living from it, why couldn’t others?

Big mistake. I was met with very arrogant and callous reactions. People were turning their noses up at the very notion that they should “sink to that level” because they have “years of experience” and suggesting that what I do is “novelty”. OK, fair enough – but last time I checked, being the airheaded fuckbrain that babbles incessantly between shitty Green Day and Snow Patrol songs didn’t exactly require genius. What am I missing? I understand that you’re scared, hell, I would be too if I walked in one day only to find out that I’d been replaced by a glorified iPod – but to outright dismiss an entire (fairly) new form of media? Are you insane? Here I am, just some guy with a few goals, making a COMFORTABLE LIVING off of something I enjoy doing while YOU, the ex-local-radio-dick, are reeling at how hard it is to find a job in radio and YOU are telling ME that what I do is beneath you? I hate to tell you this, but the reason that traditional radio is dead (and it IS very much dead and gone forever regardless of how many out there refuse to let go) is that very same mentality. Yes, the very same mentality that didn’t adapt to the times and that didn’t accept that the world of media is changing. That same mentality that caused radio to stick its head deep in the sand. This is the same mentality that cost you your job dipshit. Wake up.

The irony here? One local radio personality that I’ve never been able to stomach has actually had the opposite reaction to all of this. In our personal correspondence he has indicated that he not only “gets it”, he sounds downright positive about the future. Go figure, the one guy that I had pegged as completely out of touch absolutely “gets it” and the younger, hipper jackasses don’t.

Radio as we know it is screwed.

Related posts:

1. Top 5 Portland Radio Personalities
2. Radio and “Old White Guys” Rears It’s Ugly Head Again… And Nary A Woman In Sight.
3. Unfairly Raggin’ On Radio? You’ll Get No Apologies From Me