I’ve been doing the online thing for longer than I care to remember. Ok, that’s actually a lie. I’ve been doing the online thing for so long now that I’m afraid of exposing my age if I state just how long I’ve been “online” – here’s a hint though, I remember when modem speed was measured in something called “baud” – which is an old telecom term that roughly means pulses per second. So that’s out there on the table, think of it what you want. The reason I bring up my online geekiness though is not to impress, rather it’s to give a little bit of backstory on the shame and frustration I feel when I state this next little gem…
I’m a Facebook moron
There, I feel absolutely no better that I’ve brought that to light. I’ve used pretty much every popular social media interwebs tool out there at one point or another and I’ve been decent with nearly every one of them. I had a popular BBS when I was 8, a Geoshitties page after I got done with what I call the “sex, drugs, and rock’n roll homeless years”, a Myspace page for about 15 minutes back when they were cool, and I’m currently a part-time Twitter junkie – I’ve been there and I’ve done that.
And I still suck at Facebook
I’m not sure where the disconnect is but I can’t seem to “get” Facebook. I’ll admit that some of it is actually pretty cool – almost a “Best of Social Media” Web 2.0 sandwich if you will. Photos and videos and Twitteresque functions with a semi-competent chat feature – what could be better? For me, just about anything else. Everything I love about Twitter – the sheer simplicity of it – I hate about Facebook. Facebook is constantly making me feel stupid and lost. I’ve been fuckin’ around online for nearly as long as I’ve been alive! This shouldn’t happen.
The funny thing is, I’ve got so many other tools faking it for me that I think I have quite a few people fooled into actually believing that I know what I’m doing. My Twitter account feeds into my Facebook account so it’s constantly active. My blog does the same so there’s occasional content longer than 140 characters (though not very often) – yet I realized tonight that I’m just prolonging the inevitable.
So, in the meantime anyway, if I take a month to get back to you, don’t answer your friend request right away, leave 18 comments to one post, fail to tag my photos properly, and mistakenly take your stupid goddamn quiz – forgive me, I don’t know any better.
I’m going to have to learn this damn thing or die trying
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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
I can never find anything on that site. My “Wall”. Where the fuck is that?
1200 baud.
Can you go lower???
Sadly, yes… 300
Rob breach on man, I was right there with with 300 baud and yet it was so wonderous before pictures. Before a GB was considered standered HD size.
Oh young FB grasshoppuh… I will teach…. maybe for ONCE…. I can teach YOU something…. Maybe it’s the whole complexity/simplicity issue… I can’t understand how the simplicity of twitter works, and you can’t understand the complexity of Facebook… it’s our destiny to bring this divided world together….. essentially, I’m bartering FB lessons for Twitter lessons… game? signed~ @isuckattwitter.twittersuckface. #idon’tgetthesymbols
I don’t have a facebook page. Something icky about people from high school peering at me. I also never did ebay. I’m like a gramma on the interwebs. Keds sneakers and everything.
I’ve also been online than most of my compatriots, and the faceypages is the first “social” site I’ve really been addicted to. I have it open all the time, at work and on my iphone and at home and on my chumby next to my bed. It’s kind of sad. I am a fan of the faceypages and I’m not shamed to admit it. Of course, my profile is totally locked down, so the random high schoolers can’t find me, though I do get requests through friends’ friends that I pretty much ignore.
p.s. I forgot to archive my geocities sites before they went offline. Sigh.
It doesn’t really help that Facebook changes its entire layout and the way everything functions every three months or so.
Looks like I haven’t been fooling around on the internet *quite* as long as you, as my first modem was a 2600 baud. But I know that these damn kids don’t know how good they have it these days!. If they could only go back to 1993 and see my nerdy little ass waiting 23 minutes to download a bmp of the starship Enterprise, well, goddamnit, they’d know just how sweet they have it.
Robert and I, we share a mind. And a name, actually. Or at least the first half of it.
But jesus, I think my MOM knows more about using Facebook than I do. I thought this shit was intuitive and easier than MySpace. I’m this close to going all Emily Gibson.
“…going all Emily Gibson” should be the “going postal” of 2010. Brilliant.