Maybe some of you know this, maybe some of you don’t. I’ve been in the “creative industry” (cringe) for quite a few years in one capacity or another. It started in Seattle many years ago and I watched as that city shamelessly cannibalized itself until there was virtually nothing left by the end of the dot com bust. I did a few other things in between and then moved to Portland to start anew. I’ve pretty much done it all – web, audio, video, print… hell, I was even an ass model for awhile. Throughout my time in the “creative industry” (cringe) I’ve always kept the same core set of principles though, the types of principles you hope everyone in a given industry has, and it pains me to see many of Portland’s creative types straying from those principles entirely and turning into a bunch of sniveling wanna-be cunts.
Creativity isn’t learned. Let’s get that out of the way. Some people are born with it and some people aren’t. While you as a “creative type” might LEARN to work with others, I’m of the belief that you were either born to make shit out of thin air or you weren’t, there is no in-between. Portland gets a lot of press about how creative it is and how we’re something of a fucking epicenter for super-creativity. Bullshit I say. While I would agree that some of the most brilliant creative minds I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet call Portland their home, I truly believe that we’ve become a mecca for that absolute scum of the earth I like to call “the creative leech”.
The Creative Leech is someone who WISHES they were creative but they seldom are. They love to turn the creative community into a festive arena of finger-pointing and gossip – preferring to revel in the drama of a typical 90120 episode rather than actually MAKE something. These pricks are everywhere these days, wolves in sheeps clothing, and they’re steadily multiplying. Normally I wouldn’t give a crap either way, but with the economy in shambles and with the truly creative people out there hurting, well, it’s become too much to bear witness to.
So I say to you, dear Portland Creative Types, here’s a bit of advice:
If you’re a freelancer or small creative company (I hate the word agency, only dicks use that word anymore)… anyone offering to set you up with work that they themselves CANNOT perform AT ALL is simply looking to make money off your hard work and skills while they sit around doubling your quote. It is quite alright to take on work from creatives who have far too high a workload, but DO NOT take work from fuckheads who CAN’T do what you do. Period. Just don’t do it. Nothing sucks more than working for phony “creative types” and learning later that they raped your paycheck and lied to you about what the job was worth.
Don’t trust ANYONE in PR or marketing around here. Just. Don’t. Do. It. Portland has become a hotbed for unemployable fucktards that are completely devoid of any marketable skills whatsoever and those folks can’t hold jobs in the real world. Check references. If they are encouraging you to do work for them and their supposed clients, ask them if they’d mind if you see copies of written agreements. If they pause, walk away. It’s normal for someone to make a few bucks off of you if they bring you work but “a few bucks” means 25% tops. Everyone else is looking to rip you off.
Never trust a “creative exec” in sandals. You should automatically know better. Real creatives don’t drive fancy cars with big ugly leases that we can barely afford – we don’t have to because we have nothing to prove. We can create, we don’t need yuppie fucking materialistic belongings with high insurance premiums to use as status symbols.
Finally – always remember this one important lesson … If you are a REAL creative, the world will beat a path to your door. Mark my words. I’ve advertised a total of 9 months in my entire adult life and I’ve done very, very well. If you’re good at what you do you’ll get noticed. I promise. It will take longer than you’ll like but trust me, in the end you’ll be 1000x better off.
Like I said, Portland is home to some of the great creative minds of our time – I’ve no doubt about it. It’s a shame that the losers have all found their way here and have begun to exploit you. Heed my warning – if it sounds too good to be true, then someone is making a lot more money off of your work than you are. You, as great Portland Creative Peeps, are simply too fucking good for that.
’nuff said.
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A message to PDX Sucks about the Creative Class and Marketers here in Portland Oregon.
We Marketers are a valuable, at least for the most part, asset of the community. We deserve a little bit more recognition than we have been given in this article. According to Robert,
“Don’t trust ANYONE in PR or marketing around here. Just. Don’t. Do. It. Portland has become a hotbed for unemployable fucktards that are completely devoid of any marketable skills whatsoever and those folks can’t hold jobs in the real world.”
This is down right wrong. I am a fully employed Marketer here in Portland Oregon and I assure you that I am definitely in the “real world” when it comes to my work. I sincerely think that this is either an exaggeration, which Robert is known for, or an opportunity to group a bunch of people in with other when the good percentage of us (Marketers) are honest people.
I sincerely hope that Robert understand this.
Bret,
I appreciate your reply and your defense of Marketers (for that matter, I appreciate that you recognize that I’m a bit of a blow-hard windbag at times too).
The response to this post, particularly through Twitter, Facebook, and email, has been very strong in two completely different directions. Everything from “Hey! I work for a creative agency! Am I evil?” (no, not necessarily) to “Fuck you dude!!”… I was aware while writing it that it would require a follow up. I’m also aware that I just can’t go around being a dick to the very industry I work in and love so much without getting some negative feedback and I’m prepared to deal with that simply because I do believe that many, many people in this industry (and PR, and marketing) are extraordinarily good people. I think that’s the point really, and one that I didn’t articulate well enough. So let me correct it:
In my opinion, the bad apples are ruining it for everyone else.
So, the short of it is this…
Yes, I do understand. A good percentage of Marketers ARE good people.
No, I don’t believe that what I said was downright wrong either. With so many bad apples in the barrel these days it pays to be very cautious about who you do business with around here. Let’s face it, that’s good business sense anyway no matter what industry you’re in.
Hi Robert. I “get it” and thank you. Your approach to advocacy is strange but it is also effective. My office listens to your show daily and we were pretty well taken aback at first but do you know what? Our own experiences these days are not too dissimilar to those in your rant here. Sound advice and though we can’t all afford to be paranoid we should all be more cautious.
Jen from Twitter DM, “the y’all wana party” girl
ref: berhoft : dont much like being refered to as the creative class. sounds too much like second class to me. you in marketing?? clicked your web site & it looks like it.. sounds like it…. you & me have nothing in common so dont speak for me.
Best advice this year. My design firm is barely hanging on today. This time last year we were riding high. A series of bad decisions, lies, and scams delivered us to the front door of bankruptcy. I wouldn’t have believed you a year ago Robert. I would have thought you were dead wrong. Even if your article is a little bit on the extreme side, I think it’s good food for thought.
dont encourage the asshole
Ref: London: You sir are a moron.