Nike announced today that they plan on dumping a few million dollars into figuring out who to shit can in order to reduce their workforce by 4% by late May. Since Nike employs some 35,000 people worldwide, 7,000 of them at the big Beaverton HQ, that’s about 1,400 jobs that could potentially be cut. For the sake of easy math, let’s say that each of those 1,400 employees makes $35,000 per year – that’s $49 million dollars or half of what Nike pays every few years to force Tiger Woods to wear those pointless black swoosh hats that he so smugly wears.
Hmmmm. Livelihood for 1,400 people or the chance to keep Tiger’s head out of direct sunlight? Gosh, that IS a tough call.
Perhaps the unlucky pink slip recipients will be those severely underpaid Indonesian kids that we hear about every now and then?
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{ 33 comments… read them below or add one }
For at $14 billion company, cutting $49 million seems like a drop in the bucket; an amount that would seem to make little difference at the end of the day. Wonder if the layoff will be greater than they state? You never read about layoffs at Nike, but they happen.
so people arent spending $100 on a lousy pair of shoes these days, what do they expect?
I think that 4% will grow quite a bit before May. There’s trouble ahead and even though Nike can weather the storm it will still take some patience.
i prefer reebok anyway
Reebok belongs to Adidas doesn’t it? or is it the other way around? Reeboks golf hats aren’t as slick as Nike’s. They only cost $9.99
Let them rot…….I am sick of them and their social polluting ways anyway…..everybody in this stupid city loves that f@@kin company so much that its like a cult
NIKE isn’t going to go anywhere. We’re growing like weeds and in increasingly different directions. Our line for women has doubled in the past several years and our basketball line for men continues to dominate. Please stop posting lies about our golf hats and especially about a celebrity like Tiger Woods. Trust me you will not enjoy the consequences if you continue.
Uh-oh, now you’ve really gone and done it Robert. It looks like nike and its blogosphere scouring ant army don’t have the sense of humor you do. Maybe they didn’t get the memo that sometimes humor is what we humans do for entertainment when we’re not playing basketball.
BenjiGrace,
Please respectfully capitalize either the first letter or the full name when making reference to NIKE. We deserve as much respect as anyone.
Thank you
ROTFL!! BENNY GOT PWNED BY THE SHOE DORK
what an ass-hat
positiveHIVasshole: I’ll continue to do whatever the hell I want. If the “consequences” involve you coming to my website and threatening me then GEE WHIZ, I’ll just have to live with that I suppose.
Tell the nike (<– note lowercase disrespectful spelling) lawyers that I want my $28 bucks back for this shit black polyester t-shirt I bought too. It fell apart after only 3 washes on gentle cycle.
And by the way, the bullshit nikeplus (<– note lowercase spelling and branding mismatch) sensor you sold me doesn’t work either. You’re welcome to stop by and pick it up, I’d be glad to show you how you could personally use it as a suppository.
ROFL!!!! ASSHAT GOT PWNED BY RW
Don’t say you weren’t warned!
Robert, the funny thing about your smug anti-Nike diatribe is that it so perfectly displays your utter, blissful ignorance of the business world.
You clearly don’t seem to understand one VERY fundamental part of this entire equation: While Nike pays Tiger $100 million, Tiger in turn produces about $1 BILLION in revenue for the company! But, because you lack any skills of business or mathematical analysis whatsoever, you somehow didn’t notice the very obvious fact that the $100 million Nike spends on Tiger creates a 1000% ROI. (That’s “return on investment” for you, dipshit.)
So according to you and your knee-jerk, ill-informed, wonderfully assinine opinion, Nike should stop paying Tiger and thus stop feeding the machine that produces that $1 billion in incremental revenue. Because if Nike loses that $1 billion in revenue by cutting Tiger’s pay, THAT will certainly help keep those 1,400 jobs, right?!?
But, this is precisely why you’re running a low-trafficked, stupid little neo-hipster Podcast/blog. With your lack of observational skills or even an elementary understanding of business and the concept of ROI, you could never land a real job at a real company like Nike. And maybe that’s what this is really all about. If you can’t join the successful ranks of Nike, you might as well mock it! Regardless of how much your mocking of it accomplishes nothing more than providing a parade ground for your tour-de-force of ignorance.
Now, go back and try your math again. Or better yet, don’t. You’ve already shown that you’re completely incapable of providing any kind of reasoned, intelligent treatment of the issue. So maybe you should open a can of shut-the-fuck-up instead. At least until you enroll in PCC and take a fucking Business 101 class, for fuck’s sake.
Please ensure that next time you so smugly present an opinion, that you know what in the hell it is you’re talking about first. You’ll look like less of a jackass that way, Robert!
Champagne wishes and cavier dreams,
Auggie
It never ceases to amaze just how many people take this site seriously. Deja Vu! I do believe I just posted that very sentence no more than two days ago!
LOL!!! 1 IDIOT LEEVES & A NEW ONE TAKES HIS PLACE!! DUDE DONT TAKE ANYTHING HERE SERIOUSY LMAO!!
HAHAHAHAHAHA! I have been reading this blog for about a month and I havent commented yet. I found this filed under comedy and humor on a blog directory and just about pissed my pants at the rants here and the sepereated at birth photos but what I just cant get enough of are the people that dont “”get it”" like that clown above! benji grace is totally right! its hilarious how this guy that writes this stuff knows how to push just the right buttons to get the reactions that he gets! Employees from nike writing in and actually taking it and treating it like its anything but a joke! If we lived by this blogs rules there would be anarchy! I would still be pissing my pants laughing but the world would be a disaster and I think thats probably the reason most people read it. I am hooked and thanks to those that go off with a head of steem about the posts because it really makes my day
Hey Robert, I just finished listening to today’s (Friday) podcast. Thanks for acknowledging, in detail, the lengthy email I wrote to you last night! (Although it wasn’t past midnight as you state, because I was sound asleep by 10:30).
As you rightly noted, it WAS a pretty fucking hilarious email! I’m glad you want to frame it! But what I’d REALLY suggest is that you just post it on your blog, so everyone can be as amused as you were (and as I was when I wrote it.) I’m particularly proud of my extensive use of expletives…I really had to reach far to come up with some of ‘em!
And yes, I have to admit that I had not read/heard your disclaimer, that you are…what is it…”utterly incompetent”, or some shit like that? Not that you need to tell people. After having heard your diatribe, this incompetence affliction became quite apparent.
Now Robert, get moving along. Your Starbucks shift starts soon, and I hear they’re cracking down on tardiness!
I WANT TO SEE APICTURE OF THE FRAMED EMAIL!! LOL
Auggie, please don’t besmirch the NIKE brand by defending the company or its practices with the unnecessary use of expletives. The owner of this web site will find out soon enough that it doesn’t pay to spread rumors and lies about upstanding corporations. Liability and defamation extend to blogosphere reporting (see Vogel v. Felice).
Funny, I was thinking of doing just that. I’ll see if I can’t get a picture of the framed version of the email.
I’m with you justin…..everyone that doesn’t share the posted viewpoint on here turns into an ugly attention whore…..great for a few laughs but figure it out for chrissakes…….roberts a joker dummy and your playing right into it just like last months big butt hag did and the weirdo that thought it was ok to shake babys……get a life already auggie
Robert, please, please PLEASE post my email. Or at least email it back to me! I didn’t save it before sending it. And quite frankly, I’m proud of it. It might be one of my seminal email works
Hey Auntreba,
Thats just rude and please post a pic so we can judge whether or not you look like a supermodel. Btw my boyfriend and all five of my sisters think I am really hot!
Yours truly,
“Big Butted Hag”
your sisters think your hot?? gross!!!!
Fuck off fat ass……you just want to see my photo for ur own wierdness……any body who likes there sisters calling her hot is just a perv
Ok, ok, I get it, you are not down with posting a pic. Maybe we could get RW to do another low budget video on his cell phone, like he did for me. Its cool because you won’t even now when it’s being taken, sorta like candid camera only even more low rent. I am not sure where he is currently lurking he has become so dang famous with the OPB special and all. Try his overworked agent at:
1-800-this.site.is.losing.all.cred.with.soccer.moms.and.aunties.posting
better for him then for you you creepy ugly fat hag
God you cow why dont you just ask rw to marry you if you want his attention so bad?? who are you any how?? Why are you here?? You are like V.D.!!! GO AWAY!!
A http://www.pdxsucks.com wedding in the works?! Sorry Creamy Dee but my dream wedding does not include a reception catered by the Freegans so don’t hold your breath on a Rondine/Robert wedding anytime soon. Ooops sorry got to go, my five creepy sisters just sent me some Valentines…
5 sisters?? so your mom was a whore too huh?? apple didnt fall far from that tree!
Why yes…one that has only been married to the same dude for 42 years, what a friggen ho!