- Image via Wikipedia
Last month I started my fourth year living in Portland. Originally a Seattle native, I’d been eyeing Portland as a viable alternative for the better part of ten years as Seattle slipped further and further into complete absurdity. In three years here I’ve learned quite a few things, not the least of which is that Portland needs to make up its goddamned collective mind about which of the half million nicknames it uses. For the love of Christ, PICK ONE, because I’m here to tell ya – it ain’t eclectic, it’s fucking annoying.
Bridgetown? Yeah, right, sure. There are quite a few bridges – so what.
Stumptown? I know what the reference means but keep in mind that the rest of the world will simply figure that a lot of amputees live here.
Slabtown? I’m familiar with the origins of this one too but it’s dated and hard to explain to visitors.
PDX? Sure, it makes a nice easy URL for our site but who the fuck nicknames their city after the damn airport?
And the rest…. “The City of Roses” (how gay is that?)… Little Beirut (I don’t get it)… Rip City (presumably during the 80′s hair metal days?)… The list goes on (and on)…
The problem isn’t so much that there are so many nicknames, it’s that people here actually use them! I spent 30+ years in Seattle and never once did I ever hear a single person refer to it as “Seatown” or “The Jet City” (except for Queensryche singer and professional douchebag Geoff Tate), and I remember how we all cringed when Seattle was christened ”The Emerald City” instead of “Queen City” (though no one ever called it that either). In Portland though it seems that someone is gleefully proclaiming their stumpy-slabbiness at every turn. I swear, half of the businesses downtown have “stump” somewhere in the title, the other half have “bridge”. I implore you, PICK ONE – I don’t even care which one you pick. People come here and have no goddamn idea what or where you’re talking about! And perhaps therein lies the problem – I’ve yet to hear a single native Portlander use one of this archaic nicknames.
![Reblog this post [with Zemanta]](http://img.zemanta.com/reblog_e.png?x-id=7d9d0e7c-0e1a-43ec-af04-bca419f2b7f2)
Related posts:
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
You had to be here in the 90′s to understand the nick name “Little Beirut”. George Bush came up with that one.
“Rip City” was a catchphrase of former Trail Blazers play-by-play announcer Bill Schonely, describing the “ripping” sound a basketball makes going through the net. My understanding is that it now refers to the Blazer fan community, not to the city of Portland as a whole.